by Brian Griffin
Underneath my rock, there are many amenities. Chinese hot pot is not something I had ever had before last week. Thus, I am aware that I am leaving myself open to criticism by airing my uneducated opinion. Much like sushi a few years ago, I feel like hot pot brings some weight along with it. The weight of every opinion of who is the best, who does not even deserve to occupy this planet, and very little in between. Now that I have dipped my toes in a little bit, I need to figure out a few things. Do you slurp it? Why is this spoon shaped like this? What do I do with this new found sense of exclusiveness?
I don’t know what took me so long to decide to check out Garden Hot Pot. It has every element of my ideal experience. A fragrant, spicy, bucket of umami, meats and starches. All of the things that I need for happiness. All of the smells and the flavors that give me the feeling of stepping into a steaming shower with an ice cold beer to smooth over whatever happened during the week.
(Next article: shower beers.)
I will be honest, I had no idea what to expect. I had heard the less than hushed whispers of a few people who had been here before, but I have had too many places ruined for me because of another person’s enthusiasm. The first time I had Chipotle, for example. It is hard to describe the disappointment of eating what is a burrito when somebody has told you that it would change your entire perception of what it means to be alive. The first time I had In-N-Out, I was met with a great burger, but it was far from the transcendent experience about which I had been told. It is too easy to ruin another person’s experience with hyperbole. I will spare you.
So, I left my anticipation at the door. We sat down at a booth that was unassuming, apart from the cooktop in the middle of the table. The menu, it confused me. How does this work? They have restaurant style order off the menu just like anywhere else but also a marker & laminated menu to choose from. We did a bit of both (Pictures of prepared food at very bottom of article). A few moments later, he came back with a plate of pasta, and a selection of meats and vegetables. He gestured to the plates told us to “cook those for three minutes, and cook those for five.”
I have to cook the food? What, do I work here? Did I forget my apron? Where’s the timer?
I followed his directions and cooked the food as directed. We were given two broths. One spicy- medium heat, and the other original. I put some of the broth into a bowl of rice for a little sample. At that moment, they had me. I don’t care if they asked me to do the dishes and clean the bathroom. This was going to be excellent. I know that I said I would spare you the hyperbole, but I lied. Here it comes.
The broth is flat out ridiculous. The medium heat is … plenty. It was a smoldering pool of inviting aromatics and proteins that filled the room from door to door. I am a huge, huge fan of a good broth, and this one simply crushed me. It was the kind of flavor that draws me back time and time again, just to get a sample of its lusciousness.
Vermicelli noodles, chicken & white mushrooms to be cooked in spicy broth
This isn’t a great place to bring a first date. The simmering of the broth in the middle of the table is enough of an ambience, but when it comes time to eat, there are several obstacles. There is the awkwardness of spilling broth as you decide which ladle to use. There is the difficulty of trying to find a tissue after you told your waitress that you can handle the heat, and the stinging lips that are sure to impede any hope of a first kiss.
But on the other hand, if he or she doesn’t like it, then there is no hope of a relationship to begin with. So maybe it is perfect. If they are still into you when you are reduced to a sweating, satiated mess with broth spots all over your best sweater vest, then they might be the one. You have always heard that you should never order pasta, spicy food, or soup on a first date. Garden Hot Pot is all of those things rolled into one. But I say go for it. Bring them here, and slurp it up. Eat with your hands. Rub your eyes until they burn. Cry together.
This place is for lovers.
VIBE Hot Pot Facts: Garden Hot Pot is located at 140 Gage Blvd. Right next door to Growler Guys & across the street from Bonefish. Open 6 days a week for lunch & dinner, closed Sundays. Find their full menus on facebook, click here . Find all their food pics on Cork & Fork Hotpot folder by clicking here . The spicy soup is usually dang SPICY so be sure to get mild even if you think you like spicy as spicy gets for your 1st round. Get the half & half soups in the divided pot, you can always spice up the original w/ the spicy broth & vise versa- take some of the spice out with your original broth. Be sure to try some of the wontons and/or noodles in your soup, you won’t regret it! They have a full menu as well as the ‘soup & ingredients menu’ . You can order some of the items to cook in your soup as half orders. Ask your server which ones. You WILL have left overs & the soup is just as if not more delicious warmed up. Bring your own alcohol, they don’t mind! Suggestion if you’re a true wino, take your own Riedel glasses as we are assuming they haven’t your desired glassware. For now there isn’t a corking fee, so have at it y’all! Yes they have a vegetarian broth. They do have a text club, text: HOTPOT to 78816.
Handmade & wrapped veggie spring rolls
Tempura Pork w/ sweet sour sauce. ORDER THESE. They’re amazing!
